Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Overwhelmed

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed that you just don't know where to start? I feel that way about my blog and my life right now. I have so much to say and so many photos to share that I don't even know where to start. I have so much to do that I don't even know where to start. I have started getting back into the swing of checking out the sites of people I have met online. There is a great debate going on over at 1000 blogs right now about Super Tuesday. Her blog is new to me, and I have really enjoyed reading it over the last 2 days. I am drawn to people who have the courage to say it the way it is and who aren't afraid to get "snarky," as Senja would say. Even if our views don't always agree. All right - it is catch up time. Since last October, 4 of my 5 kids had a birthday. I know am the proud mom of a 12, 10, 6, 3 and 2 year old! And that leads into being OVERWHELMED. Things have been really rough with Sam and his recovery. His medical recovery has been picture perfect, but along with that are numerous doctor appointments, some at 7 a.m. (about 45 minutes away) and with that comes trying to get all of my other 4 kids to 4 different schools, grandpa's house,.....at the crack of dawn. My kids are in private school and there are no busses. My dear friend Carrie drove to my house to get my kids to school one week during my appointments. Now that is a friend! We have had colder than normal temps and lots of rain (good thing) but it just adds to the mess. Atleast our snow issues are over - we love snow in the South, but not while my baby is in the hospital. As good as the medical issues have been (Thank you Jesus), the behavioral issues have been horrible. I can not even begin to describe how bad things have been. These fits and tantrums are like none I have ever seen or experienced (and I have experienced a few). I feel so bad for him, but at the same time it is so frustrating. From the day of Sam's surgery forward, I went nonstop for 10 days, with little sleep, trying to keep up with Sam and keep our daily life on track. If we skip a day of laundry it takes double time to keep up. I was looking forward to the weekend where I could share some of the responsibilities with Russ. As the weekend approached, plans for Russ and our 2 oldest boys to go to Charleston with Boy Scouts were finalized. I was so upset. I was exhausted and needed a break. I really thought we were going to talk about it. It had been planned back a few months ago but when Sam's surgery was scheduled we were going to "reevaluate" things as the weekend got closer. Russ' birthday was the day before they left and I lightly expressed my opinion, in respect for his special day. I could not believe he was going on this trip, knowing I was exhausted and starting a migraine. He still doesn't really understand what I was upset about and I still have yet to get a "break." While they were in Charleston, Robbie started running a 102.5 degree fever, so I was tending to him while helping Sam through his tantrums and of course all of the attention to the boys caused Emma to seek more Mommy Time for herself. I could not even speak to Russ when they got home. And here we are a week later, and still no true break for Mommy. I know that being a mom is 24/7 and I welcome it, love it, However..... sometimes our bodies and spirits just need some respite. Things with Sam are looking up. For the past 4 days, I have seen a dramatic improvement in Sam and his frustration. He had a little setback today (I will get into all that soon). I had a dermatology appointment and he went to stay at MiMi's house. He just loves going there, but he was uneasy today and had some trouble. I picked him up this morning and it continued to be a difficult day, but by this evening he was back to our sweet little Sam. While I was at the dermatologist, I got some unexpected news. I have a bump on my chest that was not a mole, more like a hive that you would get if you were having an allergic reaction. My doctor was puzzled by it. She tried to lance it (OUCH!) but to no avail so she biopsied it (OUCH x 2). We will get the results in about 2 weeks. She is concerned about it but told me not to worry (yea, right! has she met me??). I have had basal cell issues in the past, but this could be more than that. I would appreciate your prayers. There is a good chance that it is a MRSA cell, just a superficial abcess related to the strain that Emma and Sam had in the fall. I will keep you updated. She put me on an antibiotic and is hoping that it will cause the bump to flatten and go away. That is my prayer.

10 Comments:

At 12:20 AM , Blogger my3 kids said...

Wow, Julie I sure hear you. I have been single parenting for 1.5 weeks so far and it's rought not having that extra pair of hands or a little time to yourself. I hope you get a little time soon. We all love our kids so much but to be good mommies we need a break from time to time and what you have been through recently you deserve one girl. I will pray for you that this bump is nothing and goes away...don't stress girl. Hugs to you and I have really missed hearing from you.

 
At 1:49 AM , Blogger Sam said...

Sheesh, woman! I'm so sorry!!! If we lived closer, I would be all yours! The whole parenting-thing is something I like to refer to as "single-parent with a husband". Yeah...

Praying for you. Please keep us updated!

BTW, you are sending your funnies to my old email. My new one is drewnsam@woh.rr.com ! Hang in there!!!!

 
At 8:32 AM , Blogger Sophia's Mama said...

Julie.. It is good to hear Sam has turned the corner. Hang in there and take some time for your self as soon as you can you deserve it..

Hugs
Susan R

P.S. I am going to need mommy advice from you soon...

 
At 1:52 PM , Blogger Just Us Girls said...

Praying for you, be sure to keep us all updated.

Hang in there and hopefully you can have a break soon. I can't imagine, I know what it is like to just raise 2 by myself... I can't imagine 5 and your husband being away.

Glad to hear Sam is turing around, all the best.
hugs
Carrie

 
At 2:16 PM , Blogger kerri said...

I jus twant to give you you a huge hug!!
Glad to hear that Sam is turning a corner.
I find it so increasingly diificult to find Mommy time for me and I am a Mom to 2!! You are right thinking you deserved some time, it sounds like you have had a lot on your plate. I think husbands don't get it unless you basically hit them over the head with it.
I hope your bump turns out to be nothing, I'm sure it's okay!!!!
Make sure you take some time for yourself soon, well deserved!!
Thanks for stopping in to see me. :)

 
At 3:22 PM , Blogger jiangxigirls said...

Oh, Julie, I just want to hug you and help you. I wish we lived closer so I could. Hang in there and take some time for yourself SOON!! I'll keep you guys in my prayers and especially for your test results.

Love,
Becky

 
At 7:26 PM , Blogger Michele said...

Okay,
So, I get in the car - drive to your place (BTW, Where is it?!) Wave kindly to the DH and kids, grab you, throw you into the back of the car and you emerge at a spa, by the beach, with no phones, a muscular cabana boy named Juan bringing you fruity drinks as his muscular friend rubs your feet and asks if you need more lotion rubbed on your back... Oh, wait!!! That's MY "happy place"!! Wanna come?!

I hope you get a break soon. I'll think happy thoughts for you.

Michele
Chongyang Mom

 
At 7:56 PM , Blogger Shelly & Family! said...

Oh Julie...just hang in there! I too am feeling so overwhelmed since before Christmas...but just remember, that you are not alone out there. If you ever need anything, just know, I will always be there for you....whenever you need me too (just say the word...)

 
At 10:27 PM , Blogger LilyKate's Mom said...

Julie:

After spending time with you guys, I was awed by what an amazing Mom you are. I am glad Sam is doing better and I will continue to include you all in my prayers. You definitely deserve some time to yourself, so I hope that you get to do something, just for you, soon.

Sending hugs and prayers your way!
Susan

 
At 5:52 PM , Blogger crazylady said...

What SAM said. Plus plus.

Especially when the kids are sick, (and therefore we are tired, exhausted) we get the hole 9 yards.
When huz is sick, he lies in bed and closes the door and moans. I send the kids in to 'check' on him of course *wink*
Including the dog, I have 4 to take care of, but you my good friend have double that. There really is no cure to motherhooditis.

 

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